The world of D-List “Celebrity” ballroom dancing hit a new low last night in the form of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars.”
I’m sure everyone was horrified by the shame that “Master P” (aka Percy Miller) brought to the floor. And how can anyone forget Sabrina Bryan’s premature ejection from last year’s competition? But this is worse. Much worse. My horror can be expressed in just two words:
“Def Leppard.”
First off… is it just me, or were they lipsynching? I’ve seen Def Leppard live recently (yeah… shut up), and they didn’t sound anything like that. I bet if I did a “Dark Side of the Moon / Wizard of Oz” thing with last night’s show and the original “Hysteria” CD, I’d go back in time.
Rick Allen looked completely disinterested and detached. His drumming made Charlie Watts look like a cross between Buddy Rich and Andreas Katsulas having a jog with Harrison Ford. Joe Elliott looked like Ann Wilson in a Bruce Vilanch wig. And Viv Campbell…? You should’ve stayed with Dio, my friend. I guess you can always follow in Reb Beach’s footsteps and join the “Don Dokken Experience.”
The worst rape of unsuspecting air molecules uttered in last night’s episode? “Give it up, once again… for Def Leppard!”
Never again will I be able to look ballroom dance in the face without secretly resenting her. No… I will not respect you in the morning.