Hacker’s Law of Internet Mouth-Shoot-Offery

“The degree to which someone will shoot off their mouth on the internet is inversely proportional to the amount of actual, real experience that they have in the subject.”

This one doesn’t require much explanation. The “younger” you are (not chronologically, but experientially), the more likely you are to try to sell yourself online as some kind of authority, especially when talking to people who seriously outclass you.

The “older” folks among my 4 readers are nodding their heads. You, however, are rushing to think up a response.

Do us both a favor… drop a magnet on your lappy.

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Tokyo: Day VI (sayonara)

Here I sit at 成田国際空港 (Narita International Airport), awaiting my slightly-delayed flight back to San Francisco. After clearing security* and immigrations, I grabbed a bowl of delicious tenpura udon, chatted over lunch with a military wife on her way back to the U.S., did a butt-load of shopping, and am now at my gate.

It would seem that Japan still had one more adventure in store for me on my final day here. One the way, the bus driver made an announcement that we would be needing to take a detour because of a big accident on the expressway. This required him to drive some “back” roads through the idyllic, picturesque Chiba countryside. I snapped some photos from the bus, but don’t know how they came out. I think that I’ll just wait to post them all to my Flickr photostream after I get home. Right now, I think I’d prefer to drink my Pocari Sweat and relax while waiting for my flight.

With that, I’m signing off for now to enjoy my Almond Choco and relax, pending the boarding of my flight. See y’all on the other side of the pond.

– – – – – – – – –

* The T.S.A. should be required to do their first 6 months on duty here, being trained by the staff at Narita. I think it took me a grand total of 18 seconds to pass through security. Everyone was polite and respectful to a fault. And not one single loud-mouthed jackass could be heard yelling at the herd of bread-dead traveling cattle to put their liquids in a baggie, take out their laptops, throw out bottles of water, or make sure their firearms are unloaded. These things are posted on signs… which the Japanese, apparently, read.

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Tokyo: Day VI (homeward bound)

All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standin’ here in Tokyo
I hate to wake you up to say “I’m heading to Narita and should be home relatively soooooooon…”

[ahem] Sorry.

Anyhoo, I’ve been scouring the room to make sure I don’t leave anything behind, when what should I find in the desk drawer? A New Testament and Buddha Book sitting quietly side-by-side.

Is this the Japanese equivalent of “Praise Buddha and pass the katana?”

Off to take a shower, finalize packing, and drag my sleepy, sore, exhausted butt to Narita airport. See y’all soon.

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Tokyo: Day V (p.m.)

The entire office went out tonight for a very nice Chinese/Japanese sort of meal in Azabu. I even drank a little bit of beer. Those who know me well understand the significance of that. The booze flowed like water, but I stuck to tea after the initial 乾杯 (kanpai). The dishes were exotic and, in some cases, a bit odd. The shark soup was good, as was the shrimp covered in mayo. Yeah… I said it sounded odd. But, damn if it wasn’t good.

Suffice it to say that I spoke more Japanese in the last 3 hours than I have in the last 3 years. I’m finding the language very difficult to speak, which is rather frustrating. Words don’t come to mind as easily as they used to… I can’t seem to pronounce things… I trip over my own tongue. Yet, one of my conversational partners was nice enough to swear that if he had his eyes covered, he’d think I was a native Japanese.

Note: The Japanese excel at over-complimenting.

The boss made the new guy give a speech to everyone in English. (He doesn’t speak English.) It was so comical as to border on the painful. After a few seconds, the boss feigned snoring and everyone cracked up. That didn’t stop the new guy who, by then, had sufficiently filled his tank with his “gasoline,” as he put it. (In other words, he was sloshed.)

I spent several hours talking about the Japanese language, history, entertainment, contemporary culture, rural dialects, and various other random topics. I even dropped into Russian a few times with one of the guys.

I think the Tokyo office now has a better idea of who I am and what I can do. Perhaps that will give them a more solid idea of how exactly they can use me. At any rate, I made several friends I intend to keep up with. I hope to be back before long… maybe even in September. Next time, I plan to try and spend more time with some of the folks I met this time. If nothing else, it will help revitalize my Japanese.

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Tokyo: Day V (Sony meeting)

The long-anticipated meeting with Sony has been accomplished. It took place at SCEI (Sony Computer Entertainment, Inc.), home of the Playstation and PSP.

The inside of the ground floor lobby was amazing. It looked like one might expect Kato Kaelin’s guest house to look if he were crashing with the Architect of the Matrix. Displayed everywhere were samples of different PSPs, PS3s, with (ostensibly) upcoming games playing everywhere. Unfortunately, photography was forbidden, or I’d have taken shots to show all of you.

This was the second time in two weeks I’ve been able to meet with the same folks. The entire meeting lasted only a few minutes, and was largely designed as a pressing of the flesh. At least I can now say that a Sony VP has my business card.

Up next is a dinner, but I may skip out early.

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Tokyo: Day V (typhoon watch)

As you can probably see, typhoon #4 appears to still be on track. Thankfully, it looks like its effects will largely miss Honshu, pelting us only with wind and rain. If Ol’ #4 doesn’t hammer the mainland too badly, my flight should still be good-to-go for tomorrow. At any rate, the rain and high winds in Tokyo have largely waned… for now.

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Tokyo: Day V (lunch)

Broke for lunch and walked past the famous Meiji Jingu baseball stadium, home of the Yakult Swallows. Stopped at a place that is famous for “old-style” ramen and had a bowl of menma ramen (ramen packed with bamboo shoots). I’m glad I didn’t order the large bowl, because the regular alone left me stuffed.

For those (now 4) readers who are still ramen virgins, I’ll lay down some knowledge flakes on you: if you’re not sweating profusely and asking for a bucket to catch the unending stream of snot issuing forth from your schnozz, it wasn’t really very good ramen.

This was good ramen.

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Tokyo: Day V (typhoon watch)

See the big dotted circle on top? I’m about 3cm to the left of where that will be when I’m scheduled to fly out of Tokyo Narita tomorrow.

I’ll keep you posted.

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Tokyo: Day V (a.m.)

Day 5: The morning of my last full day and night in Tokyo.

Being in Tokyo again has been blur… a blur of trains, pictures, blisters, elation, exhaustion, cute little girls in their sailor outfits, delicious food, loneliness, language, and shopping bordering on the hedonistic. But like all marathon sex sessions, there comes a time when it just has to stop.

The Sony meeting, as it turns out, is supposed to be today at around 6pm. This is going to be a long day, I imagine. I likely won’t have time (or energy) to do any more shopping after work, but if I do, I’ll try to go for that one last spurt. There are gifts I still haven’t bought, but frankly… I just don’t physically have the energy left in me to go looking for anything. I will endeavor to do so, though.

I return to the U.S. with a new drive to learn Japanese.

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Tokyo: Day IV (p.m.)

So… what have I accomplished today? For starters, the meeting was Sony wasn’t today… it’s tomorrow. So I got to spend all day in my monkey suit for no reason. No biggie. At least I got to meet the folks from the office and have a fantastic lunch. At the office, the new guy (even newer than I) befriended me by giving me a nice gift: a folding Japanese fan (called 扇子 – sensu). I look forward to getting to know him better.

After work, I split off on my own and went back to Shinjuku. Since I’m leaving soon, I knew this might be my last chance to accomplish just a few more things:

  • Buy more books at Kinokuniya
  • Find my old favorite ramen shop
  • See if it were possible to rekindle the spark I once felt toward this place and its inhabitants

Was I successful in my endeavor? Yes, yes, and… yes.

The ramen shop has since changed ownership and the innards look very different, but gorgeous. The lady there was very nice and knew about the old place from 10 years ago. We talked a bit about the history of the area and how much it has changed since then. I mentioned that I might be able to come back for business in September, and she and the guy behind the counter both seemed to look forward to seeing me again.

I loved their ramen so much, I’m going to share their address with you, my 3 readers. If you ever happen to find yourself in Shinjuku, do yourself a favor and try it. You can’t miss the place… it’s across the street from a Wendy’s and just to the right of a McDonald’s. Please avoid those two. If you can’t, please don’t tell me about it.

The place is called 札幌らーめん 北の大地, which basically means “Sapporo Ramen, the Northern Land” or something along those lines, which makes sense, as Sapporo is in Hokkaido, which is way up north. The 醤油ラーメン (shoyu ramen, or soy-based soup and noodles) was fantastic. In fact, it was easily the best I’ve had since I got here. The lady recommended next time I try their 豚骨味噌ラーメン (tonkotsu miso ramen, or miso soup and noodles topped with friend pork cutlet). I think I’ll take her up on it.

Their address is Shinjuku-ku Shinjuku 3-chome 28-2 or 新宿区新宿三丁目28-2 for those conversant in the local lingo. Their phone number is (03) 3357-0056. Tell them the weird, bald gaijin who speaks Japanese told you about it.

On my way home in the light evening Tokyo rain, I came to a realization of sorts… in this, the loneliest of cities, I had just made a couple of friends. My love for Tokyo is starting to make more sense again. Once again, I find myself feeling passionately about the language, culture, and people of Tokyo.

I thank both God and Tokyo for all the lessons each has had to teach me. I can’t even begin to think I know what they all are yet, and I suspect I’ll be chewing on them for some time.

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