Let’s take a moment to talk about someone.

We all know who this person is.  You know it isn’t you. And I know it isn’t me.  So how do we talk about this other person (behind his/her back, naturally) without naming specific names?  For the sake of ease, let’s refer to this person as “The Other Guy.”  (I’ll be using masculine forms here simply for efficiency’s sake… we all know The Other Guy comes in all shapes and genders.)

You know the type, don’t you?  The Other Guy is a smug, self-assured bastard. He’s an insufferable, arrogant prick.  This asshole thinks he knows everything, despite being an absolute idiot.  He’s constantly twisting statistics and misrepresenting anecdotal evidence and feelings as factual information.

He’s the kind of guy who believes that things he doesn’t like should be outlawed.  It isn’t enough for The Other Guy to dissuade or persuade using reasoned, thought-out logical arguments.  He wants your annoying behavior (or object) in question to be made illegal. He wants the government to use force to prevent you from doing that which he finds reprehensible.  The Other Guy loves his “rights,” but… well, fuck yours.

Now, for murder, rape, kidnapping, horse theft, etc., this all seems completely reasonable.  I doubt anyone would argue against these sorts of things being illegal.

But this fucker… The Other Guy wants to get into your bedroom.  He wants to control how you’re allowed to talk (and, by extension, how you’re allowed to think).  He wants to control your wallet.  He wants control over your guns and your cars and your marriage and your medical issues and…  You know what?  Fuck The Other Guy.

AmIright?

So, who exactly is The Other Guy?

It’s you.  And it’s me.

If you’re a Republican and refer to Democrats as “tax and spend,” but didn’t have a problem with Republican administrations overspending for decades…

If you’re a Democrat and think all Republicans are racist, while pandering to minorities, claiming they can’t do it without you… (or bring up race every time someone disagrees with the First Black President [whose mother was white])…

If you’re a Republican who thinks Democrats are anti-liberty, but thinks “fags” shouldn’t be allowed to get married…

If you’re a Democrat who thinks that Republicans are anti-liberty, but you want to take rights away from innocent people who didn’t commit murders…  (Do you also want to take all cars away from everyone just because a few assholes can’t seem to stop driving while sloshed?  [Before you start in with the “cars and guns aren’t the same thing” bullshit… don’t.  We’re not talking about the physical properties or intended uses of inanimate objects here… we’re talking about bigger philosophical issues.  So cram it.])

If you’re a Republican who thinks Democrats are anti-life…

If you’re a Democrat who think Republicans are anti-choice…

If you’re a Republican who complains about leftists in universities dumbing down America, yet blocks bills that would help students pay off their mountains of debt and forces schools to teach creationism…

If you’re a Democrat who was anti-war under Bush, but supports Obama going into Syria and Ukraine…

If you’re a pro-military Republican who opposes Obama bringing SGT Bergdahl home…

If you’re a Democrat who thinks that all Republicans are anti-science, but you believe your magic healing crystals will protect you from the government-Monsanto cabal that is trying to murder you by deliberately poisoning your food and spraying chemicals into the atmosphere…

If you’re a pro-privacy Republican who supports NSA domestic spying…

If you’re a pro-privacy Democrat who wants the addresses of lawful, peaceful firearms owners made public…

If you’re a Republican who is pro-Defense, but thinks globally sticking our nose into other countries’ business is the answer…

If you’re a Democrat who thinks we should all hold hands and love each other, but fuck Republicans, ‘cuz those guys are assholes…

If you’re a Republican who is anti-welfare, but pro-corporate-welfare…

If you think The Other Guy is an idiot/asshole/racist for believing something different from you…

You are the problem.

The pendulum swings because we push on it. Push too hard, and the people on the other side (The Other Guys) feel encroached and become reinvigorated to push back like a motherfucker. Right in your face. Repeat ad nauseum.  We have Obama because we had Bush because we had Clinton because we had Bush because we had Reagan because we had Carter because we had Nixon (Ford doesn’t count) because we had…  Where does it stop?

You’re a hypocrite.  And so am I.

Whenever you point your finger at The Other Guy and think, “that guy’s an idiot/asshole,” just remember that he may just be pointing the same finger back at you and thinking the same thing.  Unless you’re pointing at a mirror.  In which case, you may be correct.

In closing, I want to share what I think is a universal truth about us human people types that my teacher-mentor-friend exposed me to years ago.  I’m still chewing on it.  Consider this my personal invitation to have lunch with me.

“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” — Yasutani Roshi