WWMMD?


Posted in Budo, Humor | Leave a comment

A Poem

I am that dreadful, blighting thing,
Like rat holes to the flood.
Like rust that gnaws the faultless blade,
Like microbes to the blood.

I know no mercy and no truth,
The young I blight, the old I slay.
Regret stalks darkly in my wake,
And ignominy dogs my way.

Sometimes, in virtuous garb I rove,
With facile talk of easier way;
Seducing where I dare not rape,
Young manhood, from it’s honor’s sway.

Again, in awesome guise I rush,
Stupendous, through the ranks of war,
Turning to water, with my gaze,
Hearts that, before, no foe could awe.

The maiden who has strayed from right,
To me must pay the mead of shame.
The patriot who betrays his trust,
To me must owe his tarnished name.

I spare no class, nor cult, nor creed,
My course is endless through the year.
I bow all heads and break all hearts,
All owe me homage — I am FEAR.

— General George S. Patton Jr.

Posted in Military, Poetry | Leave a comment

Earthquake

Devastation in Hachinohe, where I spent a great deal of my youth.

A massive earthquake of 8.8/8.9, depending on the source, has struck Japan.  To my knowledge, this is the largest earthquake ever measured in Japan, and among the largest world-wide in over 100 years.

I’m sitting here on my couch, watching NHK (on TV Japan), scanning the internet, and praying for “無事だ” (I’m safe) messages from friends all over Japan.  My heart is in my throat.  In my 10 years in Japan, I never experienced anything like what they are going through right now.  If there is any saving grace, it is that the epicenter was off the coast.  Had it been on land…?

There aren’t just tsunami warnings.  There are “o-tsunami” (massive tsunami) warnings.  A tsunami is already massive.  I don’t even want to imagine how gigantic a tsunami has to be before they decide to call it “massive.”

Hundreds are dead.  Unknown hundreds, perhaps tens of thousands, are missing.  Relentless aftershocks.  So much destruction.  Floods.  Fires.  Collapsed buildings.  Gigantic ocean ships thrown about like toys.  Humans swept out to sea.

I’m starting to hear from some of my friends via internet messages that they are safe.  I hope to hear from everyone before this horrible day is through.

On a final note, I have contacted the U.S. Department of State and offered my services as an interpreter and translator.  On the very off chance that they should request my help, I will attempt to get a message out via Facebook and Twitter to let my family and friends know.

Posted in Japan | Leave a comment

Obligatory @CharlieSheen Post

BRAAAAAAINS...

Charlie Sheen has experienced a sort of spiritual epiphany as of late.  He is the topic of conversation everywhere you turn.  Overnight, seemingly by some sort of warlock magic, he became the undisputed champion of Twitter and Ustream.

Charlie Sheen is a modern zen master.  Charlie Sheen is a stealth fighter with switchblade eyeballs and grizzly bear jaws for testicles.  He runs on pure Tiger Blood, Jet Fuel, and Charlie Sheen.

He is Charlie Sheen.

I’ve collected a few of Charlie Sheen’s zen koan.  I follow each with my own questions and observations.

“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.”

If it is actual Tiger Blood that makes Charlie Sheen the awesome warlock that he is, why are actual tigers relatively lame?  Are they genetically immune to the effects?

What if you die really awesomely, like… with a machete or something?  Does that still make you an amateur?

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

Isn’t he worried about recursively overdosing on himself?  Does the Tiger’s Blood protect him from the effects of his own nested awesomeness?

Only a ninja can kill a ninja… but not even Charlie Sheen can kill Charlie Sheen.  That’s how powerful he is.  Injecting Charlie Sheen into your veins is the drug equivalent of looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant.

“It’s perfect. It’s awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary.”

If he’s so busy winning (which… duh… he obviously is…), how does he have time to actually put the wins in the record books?  Did he hire someone to do the monkey work for him?  Maybe he’s he a time lord.

“These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart.”

Charlie Sheen’s heart only has 3 chambers.  He didn’t need the extra chamber, so he ripped it out with his mind.

“I mean, what’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party man, it’s epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

Armless children are made of pure win as it is, but Charlie Sheen is better.  That’s how hard Charlie Sheen wins.

“I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That’s how I describe myself.”

Is this an actual collection or just a metaphor?  Either way… win.

“I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA.”

I’m guessing the Adonis DNA somehow chemically interacts with the Tiger Blood and recursive Charlie Sheen drug to eternally fuel his warlock powers.  This would definitely explain his invincibility.

“Duh, winning!”

Duh indeed.

Posted in Humor, TV | Leave a comment

Happy New Year!

Did you know that 2011 is a prime number?  Do you know what numerological significance this has for the upcoming 365 ¼ days?  None.  Numerology is bullshit.

Happy New Year from all of us in the HackerHaus family!

Posted in HackerHaus, Japanese | Leave a comment

Review: Taurus PT1911 (Update)

At the end of October, I wrote a not-so-glowing review of my then-new Taurus PT1911.  It is now two months later, and Taurus has finally gotten me the replacement extractor*.  I had a gunsmith install it and inspect the pistol, and everything appears to be in working order.

I took it to the range yesterday and put about 150 rounds through it.  No FTE, and only a couple FTF.  All in all, not bad.  I hope she holds up.

*According to Taurus, the extractor I needed was on back order.  To me, this can only mean one thing: lots of other people are having the same problem, and they’ve been bombarded by requests for replacements.  If you’ve had a similar problem, I’d love to hear from you.

Posted in Firearms | 2 Comments

Iowa Shall Issue

According to information released by the Iowa Department of Public Safety, Iowa will officially become a “Shall Issue” state as of January 1, 2011.

What this means is that County Sheriffs will no longer be allowed to arbitrarily deny any Iowa resident the individual right to legally carry a concealed firearm for personal protection, nor will the burden of proving “need” remain.  If you are a peaceable, law-abiding Iowa resident, chances are that you will qualify.

For those concerned about Iowa turning into the “Wild West,” there is no need to worry.  According to the NRA-ILAThere are 40 Right-to-Carry states: 37 have “shall issue” laws, requiring that carry permits be issued to applicants who meet uniform standards established by the state legislature. Two have fairly-administered discretionary-issue carry permit systems. Vermont respects the right to carry without a permit. Alaska and Arizona have “shall issue” permit systems for permit reciprocity with other states, and have allowed concealed carrying without a permit since 2003 and July 2010, respectively.

The majority of U.S. states allow residents to carry concealed, and yet the streets do not run with blood.  Rest assured that permit applicants will still need to go through background checks, and will be denied the right to carry/conceal for valid reasons such as felony convictions, a history of domestic abuse, alcoholism, etc.  Additionally, “all carry permits and permits to acquire pistols or revolvers are invalid when the permit holder is intoxicated.”  If you’re going to drink, don’t carry.

Under the new law, the State of Iowa will also not be flagging driver’s licenses with CCW-related information.  It is not required for you to inform any Police Officer that you are carrying a weapon… but it sure is a damned good idea.  Iowans: If you are pulled over while carrying, place your CCW on TOP of your driver’s license, hold both out the window with both hands, and don’t make any sudden moves.  Hopefully, Iowa LEOs will quickly learn what Arizona LEOs know: the guy with the CCW is a law-abiding citizen and an asset, not an enemy.

The following section was of particular interest to me, a resident of Arizona with heritage ties to Iowa (emphasis mine):

  • Q: I live in another state. Will Iowa honor my concealed weapon permit issued in another state?
  • A: Iowa will honor any valid carry permit issued by any other state and will grant all privileges to such permit holders as those granted to Iowa residents including the concealed or open carrying of a firearm (excluding those classified by Iowa law as offensive weapons (federal NFA or Class 3)) and the concealed carrying of other non-firearm dangerous weapons such as knives with blades in excess of five inches, switchblade knives, Tasers/stun guns, or any other dangerous weapon. Non-firearm dangerous weapons may be carried openly without a permit. Non-firearm dangerous weapons may also be regulated by local ordinance that is more stringent than Iowa law. You do not have to be a resident of the state from which your permit was issued. However, an Iowa resident may only carry with an Iowa issued permit.
  • Q: My state requires a reciprocity agreement before it can recognize an out-of-state permit. Will Iowa enter into such a reciprocity agreement?
  • A: No. Iowa law does not provide for entering into reciprocity agreements with states that require them. Iowa will honor any valid permit issued in any other state.
  • Q: Will Iowa publish a list of states whose permits will be honored, and will Iowa publish a list of states that will honor the Iowa permit?
  • Q: No. Iowa will honor any valid permit issued by any other state. Iowa permit holders will need to check with other states to determine if their Iowa permit will be honored in that state.

They said it three (3) times:  Iowa will honor any valid carry permit, regardless of which state issued it.

A note to those carrying under Arizona’s new “Constitutional Carry” law:  Get trained and get your CCW anyway.  Not only does it look better in the eyes of the law here, it will also allow you to carry in 35 states: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

(California, Hawaii, and Illinois are missing from the above list for somewhat obvious reasons.  Hopefully, Illinois will be fixed soon.  And with the Open Carry movement in California… there might be hope, eventually.  Why Nevada is missing is beyond me.  Washington State is unfortunately absent because Arizona does not currently have a reciprocity agreement with them, but a non-resident Florida CCW seems to fix that.)

Posted in Arizona, California, Firearms, Freedom, Iowa | Leave a comment

Veterans Day

My brothers and sisters, words fail me. 
For those who understand, none are needed.
For those who don’t, none are sufficient.

Peace be with you all.

Posted in Freedom, Military, US | 2 Comments

Voted

So now what?

Yesterday, the American voting public showed up to express themselves in record numbers. As a result, Election 2010 has turned out to be the largest Congressional upset since World War II, with results exceeding the auto-erotic expectations of even the most rabid Fox News GOP sycophant.

Last night, incumbents lost big.  The question that sits like a rock in my mind, however, is:  Who is going to lose next?  More importantly, when is the population of the United States, as a whole, going to start winning?

So-called “Tea Party” candidates both won and lost, yet claim this as the beginning of a “new era” in GOP politics.  “Tea Party” wins in some earlier Senate nomination races actually lead to GOP losses in those same races, ultimately directly resulting in the GOP failing to claim a majority in the Senate.  I would seem that, in a few cases, philosophy won out over old-school party loyalty.  Is this a good thing?  Only history will tell.

Republicans claim this is a repudiation of the sitting President (mid-term elections always are) and his policies.  Some made conciliatory remarks to “Tea Party” members.  How will this experience, coupled with the past 4 years, inform and moderate how they choose to do business?  Only history will tell.

The President earlier suggested that this sort of outcome would merely be the result of fear and anger on the part of his “enemies.”  Others have opined that this election was more about an inspired Republican turn out versus an uninspired Democrat turn out.  What does this mean for President Obama’s future?  Only history will tell.

And what of the Independents who helped carry Barack Obama to the Presidency 2 long years ago?  It would seem that many, if not most, of them have defected.  I, myself, am a registered Independent.  I always keep my votes secret, but without giving anything away, suffice it to say that I cast votes for Republicans, a Democrat, and several Libertarian candidates.  You might even be surprised at how I voted on Arizona’s Proposition 203.

Finally, in Arizona’s 7th Congressional District, which is heavily Hispanic, incumbent Congressman Raúl Grijalva, famous in AZ for his nationwide call for a boycott against Arizona over SB1070, appears (at press time) to have quite literally eked out a narrow victory.  His win itself seems somewhat less significant than the fact that (as of this moment) he only won by a statistical handful of votes in a district that should have, by common Pop Culture wisdom, been his for the taking.  What does this say?

This morning, an acquaintance shared something so profound and dead-on, I wish I had written it, myself:

“If you want the state to intervene overseas, you’re a conservative.  If you want the state to intervene domestically, you’re a liberal.  If you want both, you’re “middle of the road.”  If you just want to be left the hell alone by this insanity, you’re some kind of a dangerous radical.” — Adam Muntner

Since Adam said it all, I have nothing left to say.

Posted in Opinion, US, Vote | 2 Comments

Vote

Image by Reuters

President Obama wants voters to remember that “GOP policies failed to prevent the recession.”

What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that We, The People, do remember.

We remember that Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro Pelosi became Speaker-elect on November 16, 2006 and assumed power on January 3, 2007 at the start of the 110th Congress.  According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, the recession began in December 2007.

We, The People, remember.

Respectfully, Mr. President, We, The People, see clearly that your suggestion that Republicans were “behind the wheel” when the metaphorical car was metaphorically driven off the metaphorical road is simplistic at best and displays either your lack of depth or your level of disdain for Us.  Your suggestion that Republicans “gotta sit in the back,” was insulting, dismissive, and, had it been made by a white Republican toward your party, well… we all know how that might’ve ended.  Respectfully, Mr. President, Pelosi Democrats were “behind the wheel,” as you so Presidentially put it.

As eloquent an orator as you are, Mr. President, you cannot undo or change history with a stroke of your verbal pen.

Was there any GOP-sponsored legislation in place that lead to the recession?  Almost certainly.  But if we want to play the way-back game, we can also bring up that it was President Jimmy Carter who signed into law the Community Reinvestment Act, which required lending institutions to give home loans to people they knew would never be able to pay them back… all in the name of being “fair” to people who wanted to own a home despite their inability to financially support that choice.  We can also bring up that it was President Clinton’s asking for changes in the law in order to “deal with the problems of the inner city and distressed rural communities” that lead directly to the recent housing market crash.  How far back do we want to go?  Even a “CSI” fanboy can see that there is blood on everyone’s hands at this crime scene.

Because it’s apparently easier for a We, The Brain-Dead People, to understand, Pop Culture assigns all successes and failures to the Presidential figurehead, depending on what is popular at the time.  GWB’s war in Iraq, for instance, proved to be very unpopular.  But how often are the names of the Democratic members of the Congress and Senate who voted to support it, then later used it as political ammunition against him, mentioned?

I, personally, am sick of both the Democrats and the Republicans.  I’ve even seen some rename them to Democans and Republicrats, suggesting there is really little difference between the two (other than to whom and how they pander).  I’m sick of the Democrats telling me that I must feel guilty for something that isn’t my fault and that my money really belongs to someone else.  I’m sick of the Republicans telling me that the only thing scarier than a raghead is a gay raghead who wants to get married and join the military.  Stop it.  You sound like children.

Mostly, I’m sick of both sides thinking they are smart enough to manipulate me without me catching on.  Stop trying to use fear and guilt as weapons.  Not only is it transparent and ineffective, but every time you try to foist that upon me, I have that much less respect for you.

This is why I’m a registered Independent.  Do we need a 3rd party?  No, I don’t think so.  I think we need at least 5 parties to make sure that no one extreme arm of any extant party (I’m talking to you, D’s and R’s) can seize power easily.  I also think it should be illegal for anyone who has ever been a lawyer or even earned a JD degree to ever serve in the Congress.  This is, perhaps, the most dangerous, incestuous special interest group in the federal government, voting on laws that only one of their own can interpret, preserving their own job security and power.  And don’t get me started on term limits…

But I digress.

What has been swept under the cognitive rug in this case is that it is the Congress which controls the purse strings and sets the legislative agenda.  The President can make suggestions, but unless he has Chicago-style thugs out threatening to break kneecaps, he can’t force the Congress to do anything.  That’s the idea of co-equal branches.

I’m not suggesting that the GOP would’ve hypothetically done any better.  But I am suggesting that, should We, The People hand them the baton tomorrow, they had better not screw it up or they’re finished.  I do find it funny, though, that the GOP has been dubbed “The Party of NO” as though this were a pejorative.  Is it wrong to say “no” to a syringe full of poison?

Should the GOP take control of the House tomorrow as is being predicted, this is what I suggest the new Speaker-elect say:  “Mr. President:  We won.  Your agenda is finished.  Starting on the 1st day of the 112th Congress, we begin with The People’s business of undoing the harm that you and our predecessors have done to America.”

I know this won’t happen for two reasons:  Nobody has the balls to say it, but more importantly, nobody has the balls to actually do it.

I, for one, say “bring on the gridlock.”  Political in-fighting in Washington is good for all of us.  If you don’t believe me, watch how the economy and Stock Market respond to a (predicted) GOP victory.  The economy and market are always stronger when no one party is in control of both branches.

Tomorrow, November 2nd, 2010, please go out and vote your conscience, whomever you support.  But please… make sure your vote is informed.  November 3rd is too late.

Posted in Opinion, US, Vote | 8 Comments