http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/06/25/20080625sweatycities0626-ON.html
June, 2008
25
Jun 08
Yoga Progress
In an attempt to further impress the ladies, I have decided to become bendy. Considering that I am tight as hell, this is proving to be quite the undertaking. Also considering… I’m lazy.
So here it is… my progress so far. The top photo was taken back in January. The bottom was taken yesterday. The angles are a bit different, but the progress is evident. I’m not going to freak anyone out at a party any time soon, but I am proud of myself.
I’m doing this on my own, without an actual yoga teacher, so I’m careful not to screw things up. If any of you out there among my 4 readers are actual yoga teachers, I’d love to hear critique or advice you may feel inclined to share.
01.14.08
06.24.08
19
Jun 08
Moji in FireFox 3
For those of you who have been using Moji in previous versions of FireFox, but have been disappointed to find that it is unavailable in FF3, here’s a quick solution that worked for me. The fix lies in the fact that FF now requires extensions to use ’secure updates.’ If you want Moji to work again (pending release of a new version), you’ll have to disable these. Here’s how I did it:
- Enter about:config in the address bar.
- Add a new boolean option called extensions.checkUpdateSecurity and set it to false.
- Restart FF and hope for the best.
Caveat Emptor: I am not responsible for you screwing up your FF config. You break it, you buy it.
1
Jun 08
Hacker’s Law of Internet Mouth-Shoot-Offery
“The degree to which someone will shoot off their mouth on the internet is inversely proportional to the amount of actual, real experience that they have in the subject.”
This one doesn’t require much explanation. The “younger” you are (not chronologically, but experientially), the more likely you are to try to sell yourself online as some kind of authority, especially when talking to people who seriously outclass you.
The “older” folks among my 4 readers are nodding their heads. You, however, are rushing to think up a response.
Do us both a favor… drop a magnet on your lappy.
30
Jun 08
Lexicontortion
Does anyone else have a problem with the above sign?
Let’s define our terms: “Medium” is Small. “Large” is Medium. And “King” is WayTooFuckingBig. Welcome to America. Please roll thru.
Corporate America is brainlaundering us into believing that we are getting more value just because they have changed how their minimum wage slaves puke out words. It doesn’t matter that a “small” (aka “medium”) meal is actually considered LARGE in Japan as it is… Americans need VALUE.
I don’t know which is worse… that THEY are doing it or that WE let them get away with it.
Following is a typical exchange between myself and a nondescript anonymous drive-thru worker (translated from heavily-accented Spanglish into what I imagine is what they are actually saying):
Corporate America isn’t the only criminal organization guilty of this. Politicians are also rather deceitful and devious. They can smile to your face while their confederates are jamming candy canes up your poop shoot. At least when McDonald’s lies to us, it only kills us and robs us of our money slowly. Politicians are significantly quicker with their thievomurdery.
Did anyone notice when “Global Warming” became “Climate Change?” Was it right around the time that the data showing a 9 year COOLING trend came out? Hmmm. Ain’t it great to be able to twist language so that even when you’re wrong, you can still FEEL right?
Don’t even get me started on “Change.” What change? What is changing? How? Specifically? By what authority? I happen to think that much of the stuff in America is fantastic. Start changing that, I might have to put a medium-sized boot up your ass. And by “medium,” I DO mean “assrippingly gi-normous.”
And “Fairness Doctrine?” How is it “fair” to force viewpoints on people by requiring private companies to bend to the will of whoever happens to be wielding the riding crop at the moment?
Words mean things, folks. That’s why they’re in the dictionary. Stop with the double-speak. Enough of the lies. Fuck passive-aggressiveness in its passive-aggressive booty-hole. Open your mouth and say exactly what you think. You can be nice about it; a certain degree of social lubrication is a good thing… just don’t slather it with butter and bullshit. If we could just express ourselves more honestly with each other… imagine what we could accomplish! Lawyers might even end up on the endangered species list!
In closing, I want to leave you with a few words from the late, great George Carlin:
RIP, Motherfucker.